Mom & Dad

Suddenly, I thought about my father. Some of you might know, some of you don't - my father passed away when I was about 9 years old. I guess probably my dad's death anniversary is going to be here soon.

Mom kept Dad's things very well. I remembered Dad loved to collect coins from around the world. Mom still have it. Dad has two very classic watches, which I loved - because I've always loved everything classic. One is Christian Dior and another Tag Heuer. These are now considered branded watches. And something that would not be in the stores today. Another of Dad's treasure is a Yashica SLR camera, fully manual. I've used it for my photography projects during my college days. I kind of realised Dad is still around because I'm owning his stuff. You would ask if I miss my dad. Growing up, sort of. Dad is always like the protector of the family. Losing such a strong vibe does affect my life. It wasn't easy at first because I felt different. Mom felt different too. But as time goes by, Mom was both "mom & dad" I never felt less loved or anything. It felt normal.

Anyway, I adore these classic pieces from my dad just like we treasured our loved ones, right? The older it gets, the more we treasure it. We also sort of realised the wrinkles on our parents forehead getting more, and we wonder if we are doing anything in return for our parents hardwork. Their hardwork for raising us, getting us to college and fulfilling our needs? I don't know, but sometimes people do things for themselves only - people work really hard in their career, trying to get the best position. All because they want a better life, for them only? Do they forget about their parents?

My mom gets so worried when I work too hard. She worries when I get depressed. I feel guilty because I'm a grown-up and yet I still need my mom to worry about me. My mom just wants me to be happy and spend time with her. I think most parents think the same. They don't need to see us with a big pay cheque. They don't need us to lavish them with expensive gifts. They just need our time, our smile, our happiness......

I'm not doing enough for my mom, and yet she's doing so much for me! I asked my mom before, how she kept herself strong when my dad passed away. To bring up two kids on her own I don't think its easy at all. She said it's because of us she has to go on with life. Wherever I complain about my situation, I thought about what my mom has to go through and I think my situation is nothing compared to my mom's. She's always positive, strong and encouraging. I'm thankful to God for having such a wonderful mother.

What I want to do in return for my mom, is just for her to not worry about me anymore and that I could take care of myself. And spend most of my time with her. When I have more time for her, she would not have to worry about me so much. She could see how I'm doing and that I'm doing just great :)

Treasure our loved ones while they are here and not when they're gone. Self-less LOVE.