Pastor Judah Cheah was the speaker for today, our last service for 2007. His sermon was short, meaningful and added in some humor too! He spoke about reflecting the year 2007, about our walk with God. And he used 'clay' as an example.

I used to be clay but now I'm different. When I was a clay, my master had to roll me and press me to the desired shape. And I shouted "Master, it's painful! what are you doing?!dont press me!" The master said 'No, not yet'

And then when I got my breath back again, my master spun me and mould me to enhance the shape. And again I shouted "Oh!Master what are you doing?Don't spin me!I'm feeling dizzy!" My master replied "No, not yet"

After that, when I stood back again, thought about relaxing. Then my master took me and burned me in the fire. "Master, NOOO!Are you trying to kill me?!Don't burn me!" My master again said "No, not yet"

Then when I got out from the chamber, my master looked at me and said "Well, aren't you beautiful now?"

This is like our walk with God. He, the master had to build us up from clay. He pressed and rolled to become what you are now. He spun you to soften you, He burned you so that you would not crack and that you can be stronger. God put us through trials and tribulations in life to mould us to strenghten us. He put us through various experiences to go to greater heights in life with God. I looked back and I realised how much He has helped me to grow through so many things in life. The things I've been through has been a blessing to me, that I've become what He has made me.That He has brought me closer to Him.

Pastor Judah Cheah ended with Jeremiah 29: 11 "I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"

God knows what best and know what's good - which is like the story of the clay, He kept saying "no, not yet" Because He is fulfilling His plan upon us. He mould us in that way. I know my future is secure in His hands.

When I am weak, then I am strong

Today Pastor Renee Bernett from Paradise Youth Community Church came and speak in our evening service and her message speaks right through my circumstances...

I had a deeper understanding of what God meant when He said when I am weak, then I am strong. She talked about thorns in our lives and how to live with them. The thorns she meant was our weaknesses and struggles in life. Firstly thorns are not intended to crippled us. She shared a story of her daughter as an example of what she meant. It goes like this, her daughter Georgia was playing the swing outside the yard when she swung and hit the rose bushes. A rose thorn was stucked to her toe. She was practically screaming, running around the house but she's not running to her mother or father. She was just yelling she's in pain and hysterically continued running. The father had to grab hold of her and asked her to stop, and said 'I know you're in pain but stop running around, we will fix it' She stopped and nodded.

So you see, sometimes we're like Georgia, when we face troubles we panic and began to worry, we run around to get away from it, struggling and wailing. And God will catch hold of us and tell us that whatever circumstances that might be, He will fix it. God will always be there so we shouldn't be afraid of the thorns. God says that He knows that we're in pain but He will mend it.

Secondly was that thorns or weaknesses holds no power unless we gave it power. Matthew 27 talks about Jesus having the crown of thorns. And that crown of thorns is to break the power of curse! She gave another story as an example of how the mind being so negative and gave it's weaknesses power. A guy Nick was locked inside the icebox. He thought he would have definitely died and couldnt survive the night. Because there's no one else there anymore and its freezing in the icebox. He had a pen and a paper in his pocket and so he began writing his farewells. The next morning, he was found dead of hypothermia. This disease is where someone died because of the freeze of the body. But the interesting thing was that the icebox wasn't even plugged in!!Which means the icebox is only on a normal temperature! I was amazed and surprised. The mind could be so negative and overpowered it's weaknesses.

The last thing is that we should learn to let God's power to inhabit our weaknesses. In 2 Corinthians 8-9, God says "My way is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect into weaknesses"

Pastor Renee used glasses as an example. She said that someone with poor eyesight would have to wear glasses, the weakness is that couldnt see clearly because of poor eyesight. But we could go to the optometrist and we can either wear glasses or contacts. Then we will be able to see clearly. Its the same with God. Our weaknesses are still there, it wont go away but God will hand us heavenly glasses and that, is the power to make the weakness strong.

And let's say one day you forgot to bring your glasses and asked to borrow someone else glasses. But still it wouldn't work, we wont see clearly! God has a special set for each one. And each one is not the same. What works for others might not work for us.

The main thing is that God turns our weaknesses into our strength and build us up. And how true that she said these weaknesses are not to cripple us! And she ended saying that all the people in the Bible had a problem and God used them mightily. Moses couldnt speak well but He led the people out of Egypt. Sarah and Abraham was old but its not that God make them instantly young, they are still old but Sarah had a baby. Mary had an unexpected pregnancy but the one who were born from her was the savior of the world.

I truly understand now how God kept my weaknesses there although I asked Him again and again to take them away and give me something stronger. But God said no, He will walk with me through my weaknesses. I'm weak in many things but now I know what God's intentions are. I couldnt hold back my tears when I heard this message. It was so meaningful and it speak right to me because I am having that kind of situation. I believe God had spoken to me and He assured me time and time again that I would not dwell just like that in my weaknesses but He will use me in His might.

Bubbly by Colby Caillat

This song is Bubbly by Colby Caillat, Eugene sent me this song too. =) It's so relaxing and meaningful. Thanks again hehe (you definitely are getting me hooked up on music alot, i've never been so experimental with music)

I've been awake for a while now
you've got me feelin like a child now
cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place

It starts in my toes
and I crinkle my nose
where ever it goes I always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

The rain is fallin on my window pane
but we are hidin in a safer place
under covers stayin safe (*) and warm
you give me feelins that I adore

It starts in my toes
make me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes
i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

What am I gonna say
when you make me feel this way
I just........mmmmmm

I've been asleep for a while now
You tucked me in just like a child now
Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

It starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feelin shows
Cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time now
Holdin me tight

Where ever, where ever, where ever you go
Where ever, where ever, where ever you go
Where ever you go, I'll always know
Cause you make me smile here, just for a while

I really like this song!!

finally, after so long i feel a sudden emotion that brings me back to my poetic moments

When you walk in through that tiny door
Your presence brings a sense of inquisitiveness
I saw you standing there with warmth
That door began opening it's folds

And so I let the curiosity come in
It began filling the core of my heart
The knots that we began tying together
It's the wonder that lies beneath

When sometimes you disappeared from that door
Deep inside, my soul longs for the key
That I can hold it and unlock your heart
For the hearts that could be bind together

i wanted to write it longer but I just think that this says it all...

A Sagittarius~ that's me!!

SAGITTARIUS WOMAN

A tall slim and graceful woman who walked proudly like she is walking in a beauty pageant competition. If she slips or nearly falls, she will nicely covered it up and continue with her graceful and impressive walking step. She knows how to use make up to enhance her beauty. She looks at the world positively, so her face always seem so happy. She will not get up set easily.

Self confident woman who belief in her own style. She will not follow fashion, but standing in between simplicity and too modern. She is a very open person, sometimes can be too blunt. She is an honest person and never try to cause troubles for any one.

She likes to say something that you do not want to hear and yet she can say something so pleasing at the same time. Example she may say "I wish you could make more money, so you could afford better cloth, but anyway it is better this way. If you make more money you could be thinking of money too much and become greedy". She can say such thing and make you wonder if you should get up set or love her more.

She is also a free spirit and does not like to stay home. She likes to be protected, but not to give her orders. She has no respect to a weak man. If she try to over powered you, then you have to calm her down and try to control her to be in a limit by doing the same thing too. She will listen if she respect you. She likes to be herself and like her guy to be himself.

She is a no nonsense woman, so you will not hear she says " Guess what I will do next", or "Guess what I am thinking" because she always say what she is thinking out loud like a guy. If you do not understand her in this matter, you could easily break up with her. She sees problems in her love life as another funny story.

She is clumsy and it is in her nature. You may think it is cute, but for some neat guys this could be so unbearable. She is very friendly, so she can easily turn her enemy to be her friends. She has good taste in fine cloths, good food, first class and first services. Even a poor woman in this Zodiac will struggle to afford such good taste. She could spent lots of money as if she can not understand how difficult it is to make money. If you think of let her borrow money, think again.
She is a paranoid. If she thinks you like her, she may already think about getting marry and lost her freedom and so on and on. A jolly woman who loves sports. She is an ordinary woman who could dress like a tomboy. She has more guy friends and sometimes could act like one of a guy. She does not care about rumors, so she can get home very late and couldn't careless what her neighbor will gossip about her. She thinks either good or bad, you will know it yourself , so you should not bother what people think.

Her wit and innocent look are her charms. She is often hurts from love, but never afraid to look for a new one as if she is singing "Do that to me one more time". She likes going straight and being straight forward. She will not go around to get what she wants, or beat around the bush just to say something. If you meet her and tell her straight what you think, she will admire you.

On Fire by Switchfoot

This songs speaks so much about me and where I'm standing. Thanks Eugene for sending me this song =)

On Fire by Switchfoot

They tell you where you need to go
They tell you when you'll need to leave
They tell you what you need to know
They tell you who you need to be

But everything inside you knows
There's more than what you've heard
There's so much more than empty conversations
Filled with empty words

And you're on fire
When He's near you
You're on fire
When He speaks
You're on fire
Burning at these mysteries

Give me one more time around
Give me one more chance to see
Give me everything You are
Give me one more chance to be... (near You)

Cause everything inside me looks like
Everything I hate
You are the hope I have for change
You are the only chance I'll take

When I'm on fire
When You're near me
I'm on fire
When You speak
And I'm on fire
Burning at these mysteries
These mysteries...

I'm standing on the edge of me [x3]
I'm standing on the edge of everything I've never been before.
And i've been standing on the edge of me
Standing on the edge

And I'm on fire
When You're near me
I'm on fire
When You speak
(Yea) I'm on fire
Burning at these mysteries... these mysteries... these mysteries
Ah you're the mystery
You're the mystery

it's been like 2 months ago since my last blog, but then today, somehow there's something to write about (which my friend evon, said today is memorable must write down) LOL

okay how do i even start?this lecturer Ms N has been in my class close to 3 years. Well, everyday we've been complaining about her attitude, it's not that she's evil - she just have this somehow controlled and conservative mindset, a person who just wants it all her WAY. i mean like hello? you are the lecturer and you are suppose to be open-minded and able to receive people's ways and not just all about you.

and that FACIAL EXPRESSION!dude,her face turns black (i mean really black) wherever we propose our ideas. you can see her face changed completely and totally crashed my mood down. The day before her class, I could already feel the tense she's giving me. She became very sulky when she doesn't get things done her way. (Hey, she's 27!) And she's a freaking lecturer!!And she's acting like a big baby. Grow up! When we talk about certain topic, she just somewhat turn it around to say it her way. Arh, when me and my friends see her face, we totally don't have the mood to say anything already.

We told her we couldn't meet the deadline and seriously its damn hectic, six garments in 3 weeks?!!and with storyboard, accessories, illustration, portfolio?? KNOCK KNOCK!! get your head in larr...how are we suppose to finish all of that. okay fine she decided that we don't have to do the accessories part, dohhh it doesn't help at all okay? she have wasted the whole of november planning the accesories and now she want to cancel it lar?? man, she just burnt my 1 month's time into thin air. And last sem where we suppose to start our garments, she wasted the whole sem doing our 'less than 50 pages thesis' Again...time gone.

as a lecturer, aren't you suppose to estimate the time properly already, pushing us to do our work instead of coming in everyday to class, showed our progression just a little then proceed to chit-chat for like 3 hours? AGAIN! that's whole lot of time wasted.tsk tsk tsk she always say we can,we can...yea we can do it but can we just do it our way? we are final year students and we can manage already maa...u want to control everythin samore then forever we dunnit to finish lo?? like what gc said 'we went two steps ahead and she pulled us back to step one." like that really forever one step behind lo?

why is it always have to be her way? her mind really put in a small box never step out of the box ge lor....sigh...she always make us so tense, never stand at our position and think wan?
oh well, today we complained about her again to another lecturer Ms H...lols this lecturer darn farnee, she also talk together with us!and she also said that Ms N does not only treat students like that, even other lecturers. controlling and manipulating ethin. self-centered.

funniest was that Ms H said "aha now you know her attitude" omg even other lecturers also already know her attitude is like that. she even said that when you get too close to her then you know her well enough and will eventually began to drift away...i guess she have this slogan "its me, me and me. its my way or the highway" =.='