the amount of work I need to do is just crazy and overwhelming...crazier than anyone could even think of. and there's one point of time where I actually felt so much like breaking down. i sat alone in one corner and just wander off - drawing things that hopefully could just take away all the distress i'm experiencing.but did it?no, really i just couldn't take my hands off the paper - really really really hope that it will go away and that i don't have to think so much and so much to do.

i tried to control my tears. things got only a little bit better and i still have like a million things to do and so little time. one thing i have - faith. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. God is the only one I held on and that kept me strong until today and forever. i dont know how to describe the things i need to do.. firstly assignments have already kept my hands busy plus in-charge of design in CF christmas night [alot needs to be done on time] plus serving and fga tpg camp is coming up.I'm really looking forward to seek God even deeper there. A break from all things but Him. I'm grateful to dedicate all things in the Lord's hands and for His glory. I may not be in control but He is in control.

Even now as i type, i felt like crying my heart out. It's just outrageous how many things need to be done and I have like a week to complete - or maybe only 4 days.

I stopped for approx 3 mins
Cause I drop something
Diamonds falling like rain
I caught hold and went on

Tears have begun to fall down. i could go on but sometimes i felt so afraid. i am seriously busy until i dont have time for myself and i'm struggling,striving to set aside a time for God. well..here i am, spending some time to blog!a lil thing to do 4 myself. i came back at about 6pm and slept like there's no tomorrow until 1.30am. crazy me. now i'm awake and goin to do all the things i'm suppose to do later.

i dont know - is it my time management?or..?i have aredi divide my time - things becoming more consistent than last time and I praised God for all my assignments have improved tremendously. Growth coming in, expectations rising, responsibilities coming up. well i need to be MORE than ever consistent?yea.yea. i let out a sigh of - relief or stress? sigh...sigh...i felt so lazy right now but i still want to continue doin my things cuz i couldn't just let go of all things - if not, i will not be able to go on anymore.

i managed to do some things for myself last 2 days - but thats also part of assignment....on Thu i went over to 'Semua House' near jalan masjid india street to buy beads,ribbons,flowers for a group assignment. Then went for a sleep over at my friend's hse in Cheras - to do e group assignment as well. we had a good time laughing and talking. today went there again to get things 4 assignment and bought some things for myself too. some things for christmas too. i dont even have time to go for christmas shopping!arhh...this month i must plan my finance well cause quite some cash to spend on certain things.

i hardly stay in room...i always go in the room for like about 15 mins then i'm out again for long long hours. my mate's bf came over sometimes said that i came in e room den i was busy doin my things - dont even have time to sit down!yea i told him,yea i'm very busy. ha-ha. the only time i'm in room is durin the night...but this week i hardly stay in my own sweet room...sigh..!mm...i better not waste anymore precious time! -jk- haha i nit do work on my assignments and things 4 CF christmas night. my friend just sms-ed me askin y i din go CF 4 so long and i din attend hostel CG. i want to go but 2 bz...i miss hostel CG!i used to go most of the weeks!i like it there...haih

home fellowship really felt like a home to me!beautiful and lovely environment and wonderful people! =)
chaoz dulu...balik nanti - lama lama lagi kut..mungkin - ah tak tau bila [haha]