From the beginning till outbreak...

I was never close to you back then
Our conversation consist only few words
But we shared moments of laughter
We also exchange words in the cyberworld
I enjoyed every part of it
Being friends with you was colorful
We used to hang out in a bunch
And saw you at your favourite place
With your favourite man-made greatest gadget
The only thing that I ever understood about you
I really thought you were that and just that
Never in my wildest dreams
I thought there was another "you" beneath

I always think that you're a great guy
You were gorgeous and looked so good
Seriously a very rare species
You barely had any temper,so soft and secure
That anyone becomes your girl would be so lucky
Everyone might just be so envious of your girl
When u turn off the relationship
I think I sense a bit of relieve in me
But i never ever,believe me
Think that we could be as one
I just treat you as a good friend and the same
And was really glad that we are

Although I did fell for you a little
That was just a mere crush
Sparks no jingle tingle
It faded when you went away

When you walked out and left
Everything else that you treasured and still
I vowed that I won't lost your presence
And I did not.....
Because we finally met in cyberworld again
Cyber was like an escapade for you
Our nights out became longer and deeper
Strangely enough,we began connecting
That you can be true to me
That trust was blooming in our ship

You told me about that someone
I was there all along listening
Supporting you to make certain moves
So that you could inhale and be still
I was glad that i could be the so-called counsellor
Helping you in any problems you might face
Hoping that you will make it everyday
Even if we were just technically involved
But it's still a golden ship movin' on

Until the day your truth revealed
You blurted out your exact truth
Honestly I was shocked and again shocked
I don't know what to say anymore
I don't even know what to feel
Devastated?Hurt?Dissapointed?
None of those,I guess
I was just frozen and speechless
I thought i want to act like i'm cool with it
But i'm not,i couldn't pretend
Because I didn't want to hurt you
I want you to think I was okay with it
That i'm your best friend and will stood by you
No matter what,how,where,when...

The thought that you actually lied
That you liked someone i thought was somebody else
All along when I was listening and opinions
I really never imagined this is it
This is the mask that you've been wearing
I felt froze again,meaningless
In some ways,i admired your courage
To finally took off your "mask"
In some ways,i wasn't too happy
It just felt weird
I'm not saying you're weird
It's just me,not you

I couldn't but i want to accept it
Just the way you are
For you are really one special friend to me
I still want to stand by you
Cause' i dont want to add more weight to your problems
I know you had much,family and friends
So I hope I could reduce your stress
I told you about my faith against your desire
You were cool about it

Right now,we are back to square one
Like we used to be before the outbreak
But i'm sure things are a bit different now
Still same yet different
I had one and only "hope"
You might know,or you might not
It doesn't matter much
Cause' we're strongly bonded in ship
Growing day by day
Praying that everything will turn out fine for you
May this bond be still
Whether digitally or reality
I'm sure it will work both ways

[stv,u sort of asked for this,ya?i just feel like writing at that moment and it came out like this.Enjoy.]

by k.s.m sarah [a poem of remembrance and a long long journey and still counting]